Conciliation

Today we read:

Job spoke, saying: “Is not man’s life on earth a drudgery? Are not his days those of a hireling?
He is a slave who longs for the shade, a hireling who waits for his wages.
So I have been assigned months of misery, and troubled nights have been told off for me.
If in bed I say, ‘When shall I arise?’ then the night drags on; I am filled with restlessness until the dawn.
My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle; they come to an end without hope.
Remember that my life is like the wind; I shall not see happiness again.”

And then:

Praise the LORD, for he is good;
sing praise to our God, for he is gracious;
it is fitting to praise him.
The LORD rebuilds Jerusalem;
the dispersed of Israel he gathers.

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He tells the number of the stars;
He calls each by name.

Great is our LORD and mighty in power:
to his wisdom there is no limit.
The LORD sustains the lowly;
the wicked he casts to the ground.

And this is my experience of God in a nutshell recently. Alone I feel absence only. Frustration at my own sinfulness and in that an unwillingness to change or to move towards what I know, reconciliation and conciliation. And then in the very moment, in the forced and almost hollow feeling sacrament of confession, Job washes away and the Psalmist’s words are revealed.

 

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